Schools and teachers are not what they used to be!!!

Hello again.  Well as I peruse my old blogs, I see that it has been quite some time since I have blogged.  To be honest I lost interest for awhile and gave it up.  Something happened last night at my son’s school concert to make me write again.

My brother and I were discussing this, not in so many words, but just the level of teaching, schools offer nowadays.  Out of all the grades on stage last night, only two were any form of enjoyment and entertainment, and one was my son’s.  I am not being bias, his class was not bad, not great either, but not bad.

So I ask what makes a great school.  Now as I come from a family, where there are 3 generations of teachers, and myself having almost completed a teaching degree, I can be quite fussy as to the standards these schools should have.   As I have had an insight into the right way to teach and the wrong way, I can spot poor teaching a mile away.  Poor teaching can mean a bad school.

Unfortunatly it seems to be quite common in schools today, to give up on our kids.  We have moved around a lot and finally settled in the suburb we live in nearly 2 years ago, and our son has been at the same school since then.  What we found out is that there are alot of teachers in the school environment that should not be there.  Maybe they are sick of having no resources, poor pay, nasty kids, rude parents, etc, but if that is the case, get out, do not make the kids suffer.

A good teacher is someone that regardless of the above, does their best to make sure their students are educated in the best possible way.  They go above and beyond for those kids.  If a child has reading difficulty, they find a way to improve that.  If there social skills are non-existent, they spend time with that kid, to make sure their confidence builds up.  If they are a distraction in class, then they find a way to stop that.  No matter what you do not give up on the child, because “we do not have the resources, funding, bad students” etc.  A good teacher finds a way, to bring out that potential in that student.  Last night at the concert, there was so many things that could have been done, to make it so much better, but obviously the teachers could not be bothered.  It showed on the kids.  No encouragement, no motivation.

The new principal at my sons school has a plan, to turn it into a computer highway, so to speak.  This man (even though he loves the sound of his own voice), has goals and movitation to get the school, to be a proper school, to get out of the teachers, what they studied 3 years to do – motivate and educate children.  This man will probably achieve his goal, but not without some major reshuffling of staff along the way.  My sons school is little, only about 140-160 students.   They rarely go on excursions (field trips); never really challenge the students as in State and Country run school competitions, (though they did particpate in the University of NSW Mathematics Comp), old resources and, a school secretary who never knows if a child is away (which they should, being the first port of call at the school).   When things are stolen from the school it is basically –  too bad.   Teachers that verbally abuse students and are still teaching at the school and not enough time and effort spent on fun things, like school concerts, etc.   These things show when they present the concert.  The kids enthuasiam is dismal, they have a “Give a Shit” attitude on stage;  the performances look like they are slapped together the day  before; no awards given out, to encourage kids for their behaviour, school work etc;  just a whole lot of dancing, with no interval and two awards for parents.   Just a overall poor display of the whole school environment.  If someone wanted to send their kid to the school and came to the concert they would be looking elsewhere.

Now you ask why do I continue to send my son there.  This is his 4th school, and as much as it is not the best, he has his two best friends there, and he likes it.  We are fortunate that our son is quite intelligent, so will get through the next 3 years rather well.  As long as we choose a good high school, he should be fine.  As for our daughter, we will not touch the school with a forty foot pool.  She will be attending a primary school, that care about their students.

So when it comes town to choose a school for your child, do not just look at the surrounds and classrooms, and how pretty the look.  Look at the way the teachers look after the students. Look at what the school does to make that 9-3.30 all the more interesting.   Does the classroom look like a postive and encouraging environment?  Does the teacher actually look like he/she wants to be there?   What extra activities does the school promote to encourage the childrens learning?   What are their exursions like and how often?  How many kids have left the school in the last 5 years, that have not been in Grade 6, etc.  All those things, that can turn it from a great school to the worst in the suburb.

Look after our little ones.

As everyone knows you need a licence to have a pet, well how about one to raise children.

A terrible thing has happened in South East QLD, Australia today and has questioned who should be allowed to have children and who shouldn’t.  Two little darlings aged 18 months were found dead in their house, 8 days after they died.  There 11 year old sister discovered them, because “there was a bad smell coming from their bedroom.”  This little girl who has had to grow up overnight then went on to her mother and said, ” I now know why you have been crying so much mum”.  The parents were not mentally unstable and had no criminal record, so why did these little kids, who had just starting discovering the world, died in such a horrific and lonely way.  According to the news reports, they hardly ever came out of the room they were found in, and that neighbours noticed something amiss with the other 4 kids, but did nothing.

 http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=581514

This brings me to ask the question, “Why does it take for a child to die, for people to take a stand”.  I remember when we moved back to Melbourne, after our time in QLD.  We decided to live in a suburb one hours drive out of the Melbourne CBD.  It was a bayside suburb, and was a mixture of low and middle socio-economic backgrounds.  Their was a part that was extremly wealthy, but mainly the other.  Unfortunatly when you live in an area that has the low-socio economic background, you get the bad element with it.  Where we lived was a mixture of the two and we had our fair share of “trailer trash”.  Included in the “trailer trash” was always the ever present, abusive family, even though they are also in affulent families as well.  Their was a particular little girl that went to school with my son.  She was the child from an earlier relationship of the fathers, and the dads new wife, made sure she knew that.  There were 4 other kids, from the current relationship, and they were also dressed properly and fed, but not this little one.  She was extremly malnourished and always would come to school without socks on, and sometimes no jumper, even in the dead of winter.  Aiden (my son), and numerous other kids, would often find her scouraging the school bins at lunchtime looking for food, as she was never fed properly at home.  The other sister, had lunch, maybe not the best one, but she had food.  I remember making a complaint to the school principal, not just for the worry of abuse, but also for the fact, that the father would abusively swear at the girls, when the school bus would pick them up.  This too me, was not acceptable and I made a complaint.  Well, the stepmum did not like that in the slightest and decided to abuse me one afternoon as we waited for the bus.  She to this day, is lucky her boys were with her, or my fist would have met her face.  She was not apologetic in anyway for the neglect of this girl, she blamed this girl, and said that she is a “bitch and troublemaker”, when in reality the other sister was the troublemaker.   I remember talking to the bus driver and he too had major concerns for this little girl.  Unfortunatly they moved back to QLD (Ironic or not), and nothing more could be done.  I did call Human Services and they were familar with her case, and were doing the best they could.  How typical of government departments.

Why do some parents feel the need to treat their children like garbage.  My two, drive me absolutley crazy.  My eldest is 9 years old and starting to get ready for those “lovely teen years”.  He is moody, always tired, cranky and just plain hormonal.  One of the ladies that works with my husband, said that it is quite normal for this age, as supposedly the body is preparing for what is going to happen in the next 2-3 years.  And then, we have the “diva” who is just plain bratty half the time.  Lauryn is bossy, annoying, lovable, demanding and on top of it, physically disabled, so hubby and I  have a perfect reason to not want to raise our kids well, abuse them etc, but that is not us.  There a 3 different types of mothers in my opinion. 

1. Quiet and very diplomatic in their approach. 

2. The screamer (which is my title), who yells everything (JOHNNY I HAVE TOLD YOU 3 TIMES TO STOP HITTING YOUR BROTHER), and I think is pretty much the standard mum and

3. The abuser, which does not need an explanation.  The latter in my opinion needs a licence to raise kids.

Kids learn from their parents.  They are not mind readers, and they look up to us to guide them, teach them and nurture them.  People need to honestly look at themselves if they start abusing their kids.  I know that sometimes children can really test you patience, but to neglect them to the point of no return, and then have no reason for it, other then “I did not feed them enough”, is just not enough.  I personally am sick and tired of people with a handful of kids, whinging that they cannot afford to feed their children, or cloth them and then you see mum and dad are nice and fat, cigarettes in hand, and Dads on the dole.  If you cannot afford to look after at least one kid, then close your legs and keep them closed until you can afford more.  As I always say in situations where the Mum and Dad have too many kids and won’t look after them, “One is an accident, two is stupid.

Children are our future, and we need to make sure that they are looked after in the best possible way.  Barack Obama speech on fatherhood, sums up so many things.  Even though this speech is about fathers, I think even mothers can relate to it in some way.

I will leave you with that speech.

 http://www.youtube.com/v/Hj1hCDjwG6M&hl=en

My husband is so stubborn.

Well, due to my studies commencing, a sick child and a husband that is now on crutches for god knows how long, I have been unable to blog, but alas, I am back today with a vengeance.

As I said above, beloved hubby is on crutches.  You see, stubborn arse (my word for darling hubby), has had a knee problem for at least 11 years now, but has doctors, specialist, checked it out;  x-rays done to see the problem.  NO!!   He is “stubborn arse” after all.  Don, hates doctors, and any excuse to avoid them he does.  Mind you he makes the rest of us go to the doctors.  Yesterday, I am happily getting into a nice rhythm with my study.  Little miss, was watching her Nick Jnr, whilst coughing her lungs up (she has a nasty cold, caused by croup and has been home from Kindy since Wednesday last week), when I get a phone call that went like this.

“Hi wuz, watcha doing”

“Trying to study, what do you want”

“I think that I have done something to my knee.  It has popped twice in the last hour”.

“Well when are you coming home, so I can make a doctors appointment”.

“Neil (boss), said that I can go to lunch now, and I will come home after that, someone will drive me home”

“Okay I will ring the doctors”

I rang the doctors, and could only get in at 3.50pm.  That was fine as we could pick up Aiden 10 minutes early from school in order to get there in time.  No problem.  Well, there was a problem.  Hubby rings me at 11.00am, and I expect him home by 1.00pm.  Guess what, he did not arrive till 3.20pm.  This would be okay, except that it takes 5 minute’s to drive to Aidens school, another 5 to get him out of class.  Then is takes at least 10 minute’s up the highway to the doctors, maybe longer depending on traffic.  Then we have to find a car space, as the doctors is in the local shopping centre.  I would also like to add, that hubby could not walk without aid, so that is another 10 minute’s.  We arrived 5 minutes late.  Luckily the Dr was running late.

Now here is the whole thing that drives me nuts.  Hubby is the Assistant Branch Manager at his work, so to say there is a lot of weight on his shoulders, is an understatement.  The doctor says that it might be wise to have the rest of the week off and then light duties at work until it is better.  Well, after we leave the doctors, I am informed that we have to drive all the way back to St Kilda – 40 minute’s away, so that he can inform the bosses about everything, and attend the meeting.  MEETING!!!!  We have the kids with us, and I ask, how long it will be.   A couple of hours he says.  A COUPLE OF HOURS HE SAYS!!!!!.   SHIT.   To cut a long story short.  We attend the meeting and yes, stay for at least 2 hours, mind you the kids were wonderful, and the staff were so accommodating to us and appreciative for bringing him back.  I, then find out that he has to come into work for at least 2 hours a day, because of workcover regulations or something.

The thing that has annoyed me with all of this, is that he could have avoided having the problem rear its ugly head again, if he had got it looked at, all those years ago.   Now, I do not mind having to drive him everywhere,  looking after him;  taking him to work, for those 2 hours, (I am on my L’s at the moment and need all the driving experience I can get), but the thing that shits me, is that he is such a stubborn pigheaded man, that something that was not really bothering him many years ago, is now giving him so much pain, it is affecting his daily life.  My father always said that Don was “stubborn to the point of stupidity”, and I have always said that his stubbornness will get him into trouble some day.  But, will he listen.  NO.

After all this knee thing has died down.  My darling Donny will go back to his old ways and be the usual stubborn self, that I have loved for 10 years.  This whole experience will just be a distant memory.  A lot like the blood poisoning episode.  See, hubby nearly died from bloody poisoning.  He was one day away from intensive care and days away from possible death.  He had cut himself and instead of listening to his body, he ignored it, and got blood poisoning.  Had to get a massive dose of penicillin in his arse- now that was funny.  He whinged like a baby.  And had to take time off work to recover. 

One day, hopefully Don will discover that you need to listen to people and your body, and stop being such a “Stubborn Arse”.

 

The dilemma of choosing a dog.

 

This is exactly what we are going through at the moment.  We are in the process of choosing a dog.  We haven’t had a dog in awhile, and instead of it being a very easy job, it is turning into such a hard task.  You see I want a Cavalier King Charles.  I have loved them since I was 14 and think they are not only gorgeous little dogs, but excellent with kids.  On the other hand,  hubby wants a Beagle.  Now Aiden, my eldest does not really mind as long as it is either one, but Lauryn wants a Beagle.  Even my bloody brother said to get a Beagle. 

We are doing the rounds of looking into breeders at the moment and are very lucky to have close friends who breed Bull Terriers.  They have given us a lot of information about the two breeds and where to get them from.  But we still have not decided on what dog.   No-one in the family can make up their minds.

Now, I personally think that hubby should not have much of a say.  You see, our last dog, was actually my hubbys before we met.  “Bear” was a huge meat mutt of a dog, but the most placid, loyal, gorgeous dog you can ever find.  I still remember the early days, and always knowing when hubby was on his way up the street.  You see we had a old car at the start and it was a bit squeaky.  Well, Bear knew that squeak two streets away, and everytime he would hear it, you would see him go from the back door, bolting through to the front door, barking, then running back and forth to me and the front door, until Don opened it.  The dog was absolutely crazy, but gave us so much joy.  We unfortunatly lost him due to some unforseen circumstances about 8 years ago, and it has been a very long process for my husband, to move on and get a new dog.

Which brings me back to the who topic of conversation.  How can such a small job, take up almost every waking, thinking moment.  This is the checklist for getting a new dog. 

1. Does it have any medical conditions?  
2. Is it good with children? 
3. Is it easily trained
4. Is it high maintenance? 
5. How big does it grow? 
6. Will it eat a lot? 
7. What will the vet bills be like? 
8. Can we have it on our property? 
9. Colouring
10. Male or Female
11. Cute Factor

I, for one am very excited about getting a new dog.  I have missed the company of our beloved “Bear” and see all the cute dogs around the area going for walks, and cannot wait to do that.  But alas, once we choose the dog, you know what the next drama will be.  The name picking.  I want ‘Sasha’ or ‘Penny’ for a King Charles, or ‘Lou’ for the Beagle.  The family like ‘Mr Muggles’, ‘Buggles’, good old ‘Rover and Rex’.  As you can see, the whole dog buying thing can be so time consuming.

Ah well, having a little doggy runing around the house will be worth all the stress.  Now if we can just get the kids, to clean up after it, that will make things even better.   Wait!!! they are kids, what I am thinking.

 

Happy 40th Damian

As you can see today’s blog is a bit of a personal one.  You see, it is my big brothers 40th birthday.  Writing this is making me think of our childhood growing up, and the things he has done for me.

Damian is the younger of the two brothers, and the one I am closest too.  The main reason is that there is only 4 years difference in age between us.  The other brother and I have a gap of 7 years, and as much as I love him dearly, he left home when I was nearly 11, and was in and out of my life from that moment on, so I haven’t really had a proper chance to get to know him.

Damian on the other hand has been around most of my life, except for the last 4 years, of which he has been living abroad.  We have not always had an easy relationship.  I am a bit of a scatterbrain, and up until I had my kids, never took life seriously, and was quite immature, whereas Damian on the other hand, was mature, serious, so we clashed alot.

But if there was anytime that I was upset, had boyfriends problems, or school difficulties, low and behold there was my brother, helping me out.  I remember a particular boyfriend, that I went out with, for a total of 4 weeks, and this guy was a member of the WHS – Wandering Hands Society.  Well, my brother and his friends decided that this guy was not going to be putting the strong word on me, and made him and his friend know that.  This guy was so used to being the tough guy, with all the confidence, until he met my brother and his mates.

I remember when he met my husband for the first time.  I was petrified, because up until he met Don, he had not liked many of my boyfriends.  We invited him over for dinner and my husband decided to cook some stir fry thingy.  Well, did he make an impression on Damian.   It still took a few years for the two men to really bond and get to know each other, but my brother has said two things to me, to make me think that he likes him.  ” I can definitely see me attending your 50th wedding anniversary”, and ” This house is so relaxed, you are all so relaxed around each other”.  Oh and the other definite sign.  He drinks with hubby.

I think over the years, Damian and I have grown closer as adults.  I know that the situation involving our father and the problems with our mum, has made us bond even more.  As Damian has said, ” you, me and Darcy are what counts now, we are the family now”.  That meant so much to me, knowing that with all that is going on, all three of us, still have each other.

My brother comes home for good in July and will be staying with us, for a little while.  I, for one have missed my big brother, and I am looking forward to dinners with him, shopping trips,  live shows, and chats about everything.

My brother is one of the most fascinating, wittiest, bitchiest, intelligent men I have ever met.  You know exactly where you stand with him.  To my kids he is Uncle Damian, but to me he is my big brother Damian, who is my rock. 

Happy birthday, you old fart.  Now you definatly have the excuse for dating people half your age.

Ciao

Teen Hearthrobs and how they look so different in our 30’s

I had a bit of nostaglia today.  The Karate Kid was on cable and it bought me back to the days of my teen years and how I used to go ga ga over the latest Hollywood hearthrob or the sexy lead singer or lead guitarist of a pop/rock band.

My favourites growing up was the “Karate Kid” himself;  A-HA -Norwegian band; BonJovi  (that guy is still hot) and Spandau Ballet (I still cannot pass up any tv show or movie, that Martin Kemp is in).  I had posters everywhere of Ralph Macchio, Johnny Depp and numerous others.  Tragic I know.  Even though these hearthrobs were a millon miles away and never knew me, I felt like I knew them.  I read every article, watched every show, and knew their likes, dislikes, where they went to school, etc.   These people were like my friends, even though I had never meet any of them.

Well, know when I look back to those days, I sometimes cringe.  1.  What the hell did I see in that actor/musician.  2. They were such shit actors and some were pretty bad musos,  and 3.  Did I really waste all that money on magazines about them, about people that I would never, ever meet.  I remember my two brothers growing up and the drooling these two used to do over their favourite actresses.  One brother had Kristy McNichol everywhere and the other was in love with Sigrid Thornton and drove all the way to Echuca – country Victoria,  Australia, just to get a glimpse of her, filming her latest mini-series.  There was also the Kiss phase that we through, and I even had the Kiss dolls.  Now to even get that Kiss fanatic brother to bring out the inner bogan, is a sheer miracle.

But, realistically that is what your teens years are all about.  Making rash decisions, drooling over some unattainable male/female and general adolescent aganst.  My son is going through the pre-teen phase at the moment.  He is nuts about Amanda Bynes – American actress.  He is just starting to figure out why he finds her so appealing.  One day we got out of him, that he thought she was cute.  You see, he goes bright red, at the mear mention of her name.  The same goes for just about anything involving the opposite sex.  Aiden still has a few years to figure out these feelings, but he is well on the road to Adolescence. 

Which brings me to the whole topic of this conversation.   When we are drooling over these celebrities, why the can’t the adult, older version of our teen selfs, look at us and go.  “Don’t go there, he/she is a total tosser, wait till you see what they look like middle age”.  YUCK!!!  

A perfect example of a  godess for all men, gone bad is MADONNA.  That women looks like a drag queen after a heavy night.  She was so pretty back in the 80’s and 90’s (except the eyebrows), but now, chunder wonder.  Tom Cruise.  He is still looking good, but I will sum him up in one word - Psycho.  And then you have the famous “Coreys”.  Haim and Feldman.  Who could forget these two in ”The Lost Boys”.  Well, have you seen a recent photo.  OH MY GOD!!.  Please pass the puke bag.  I always thought that Corey Feldman – he tried to talk like Sly Stallone, was a total freakshow, but thought the other one was a cutie.  Well now neither of them are.

There have been a few 80’s hearthrobs that still look damn good.  See pictures below.

       The bloody gorgeous Martin Kemp of Spandau Ballet, today and in the Spandau days.

 

   This man needs no introduction. 

Last but not least

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm3454114048/nm0000136

Yes I might be biased about these 3, but you have to admit they still look damn good, considering they are well into their forties now.  Honourable mentions go to Brad Pitt, Demi Moore – even though plastic has helped, Timothy Hutton, Matt Dillon, Rob Lowe, the boys from New Kids, even though this whole revival thing, is beyond me, Dr Mcdreamy, Alyssa Milano (hubby will kill me if she does not get a mention) and another of his favourites, who I might add is 50 and that is Dana Delaney of China Beach.

Whatever they are eating, drinking pass it on to me.  

Till next time

Why should we loose our identity, just because we have kids.

This is a topic, that has been on my mind for sometime.  As most of you are aware, I am nearly 36, have two kids and am a stay-at-home mum, who is completing a university degree.  One thing that I have tried so hard to maintain over the last 9 years, is my identity.   In the early days, I was like a lot of first time mums.  Definitely not the “Yummy Mummy”.  But over the years and after analysing so many other mums, I found that we need to keep some of that life we had before kids.  Of course, we have to do it in moderation now, but just because we are parents, do we have to forget US!!!! 

One of the things I loved doing when I was single was shopping till I dropped.  I was very fashion concious and any excuse to hit the shopping centres, I took.  Now once my little darlings came along, I could not do it much, so my fashion sense went out the door, and my stylish hairstyles, expensive makeup, and professionally waxed eyebrows, went by the way side.  I still kept up the eyebrows, but did them myself.  That it of course, until I was introduced to a delightful duo, that just continue to amaze me with their knowledge of what looks good on people.  These ladies are “Trinny and Susannah”  After watching their show, it started me thinking, that I was like a lot of women on their shows.  I had the family, and just did not make enough time, for myself.   This brings me to my whole point of this blog.   Why should we stop being sexy, confident, fashionable, fun loving people just because we have children.   Since watching these girls, I am going back to the old me.  I may be 10-15 kgs heavier, then I was 9 years ago, but I still feel the same way, and why not show it.   I am not a “Yummy Mummy” and never will be, but I like to still be able to do some of the things I did when I was single.

So many of the mothers at my sons school, do not have a life.  You hear them talking and not once in that conversation do you hear.  “Well today I did something for me”.  It is usually, “I went and helped hubby at work, or I picked up some new shoes for such and such, as his/her old ones are wearing down, or I helped out with reading today, and then I organised the Mothers day, and then we went to the Hi 5 concert”.   What about organising some pampering, or good old fashioned retail therapy; going out to dinner with hubby or going to a concert, that does not involve colourful skivvies.  

These are things that we desperately need to maintain for our own sanity.  Yes, we may not have as much money like we did when we were single, but we can still do these things, every now and again.   I look back at photos of my mum before us kids, and she was so slim, trendy, basically took so much pride in herself.  She supposedly had alot of fun with her friends when she was single.   Now looking at her, she dresses like a nun, has no life outside of her grandchildren, has only just started taking “Tai Chi” lessons, and getting back into her Arts and Crafts.  But all of this took till she was into her sixties.  She put us kids before everything, and as a result, when we had moved out of home, she really had no life.  This too me is not healthy.

My husband and I are not like a lot of parents, we have routines set in place, but aren’t vigilant with them.  If we want to do something for ourselves, we let the kids know, that its ”Mum and Dad time”, and they completely understand.  Well maybe not our 3 year old, but the older one does.    We adore our kids, but we also still realise we are people too, that need a life.   Our two kids, come before everything, and their needs are always meet, but our life isn’t just the kids.  We realised that in order for us to function better as parents, we need to remember who we are as Adults.  If we get swallowed up in the big giant hole called “Parenthood” and do not leave anytime for us, it is not teaching our kids to be confident, independent adults. 

 

Black and White, Gay and Straight. Please tell me the difference

One thing I have never understood, if how people can justify the difference in someone.  I grew up in multicultural Melbourne, Australia.  My Catholic Primary and Secondary schools were mixtures of European, North and South American, African, and Asian backgrounds.  My group of friends in both primary and secondary school, were extremely multicultural, and after finishing school, a lot of my friends came out of the closet.  So, you can see that I do not see the difference.

The whole African-American race thing in America just astounds me.  My brother has a close friend who is from Alabama, and according to him, that is the way it is.  But why is that.  To me everyone is the same, regardless of where they originated.   I was just talking the other day to one of the mums, from my sons school.  She is a Maori and has been in Australia, from New Zealand for two years.  Now talking to her, is no different to talking to a mother of Australian descent.   She laughs the same way, thinks the same way, her outlook on life is the same, but she is technically regarded as ”black”, therefore discriminated against.  

Now look at the way, certain religions are treated.  The Jewish religion is a perfect example.  People were ripped from families, sent to concentration camps, gased to death, and those that survived, never really got over it.  Why was this done?  Because Hitler did not like them.  Ever since “911″ the Muslims have been treated like second class citizens.  Why, because everyone thinks they are going to blow up buildings, planes etc.  I have met quite a few Jewish and Muslim people in my time, and yes, there are bad in those religions, but that goes the same for Catholic, Church of England, Presbyterian, etc.  Just because someone worships differently to you, does not make them bad.

Which brings me to my last peeve and that is the treatment of Gays and Lesbians.   I have a very close relative that is gay, and to me, he is one of the most honest, down-to-earth, loving, people I have ever meet.  He and his friends, although have their problems, are just so much fun to be around.  These are people that take you as you are.  I mean try shopping with a gay man.  Pure heaven.  They know more then women do.    This particular relative helped pick out my “Calvin Klein” handbag at Christmas.  Mind you when this person was younger, he had no idea about fashion, left alone give out fashion tips.  

I have been following all the countries around the world, and their attitude to Gay rights.  Why can’t these people have the same rights?  Why can’t they get married legally?  Why do they have to hide who they really are from people?  One of my oldest friends is gay.  I have not seen this guy for a number of years, but he was the best fun to party with.  He was very “mincy” one minute and straight shooting the next.  I remember having a conversation last year, with an now ex-friend (because of this conversation).  She informed me that the reason she did not invite this gay friend of ours, (who I might add was there for her, during her cancer battle, and numerous suicide attempts) to her wedding, was because and I quote ” How do I explain him to ,,,,,,, family.  He is too gay for them”. ” He might embarrass me”.   This is a person that would have acted straight for her.   This is exactly what I mean.  Just because someone chooses an alternative lifestyle to what you are accustomed too, does it make them any different.   To me a good friend is someone who is there through thick and thin, not who they are.

To me people of other races, besides my Irish Australian background; other religions and other lifestyles are one and the same.  Everyone acts and looks different, but when it comes down to it, we all want the same out of life.

So till my next post, I ask you to think about the last time you spoke and I mean really spoke to someone of another race, religion or sexual orientation.

 

 

Let our kids have fun

I write this post after reading about a young girl that was killed on Saturday about a 10 minute drive from our house.  She was a promising young actress and many of you that are familiar with the “Saddle Club” will remember her as “Melanie”.  She was only 17 years old and supposedly tripped and fell onto the tracks, and did not have enough time to get off, before the train approached.   Well, the latest is that according to a female employee of the station, she stepped in front of the train, (This girl was known as an ”overachiever” and into everything).    If this is the case, and I am not, and I stress not saying it is, but if so, are the parents of today, expecting too much, or our the kids driving themselves too hard, because of Mum and Dads attitude.

My husband and I just want our kids to be happy, and healthy.  A good education is also important, but to say we are “Education Nazis” is totally off the mark.  We always make sure that our eldest does his homework, and that the 3 year old is read too, or helped with her speech difficulty.   But for some kids, there are parents that want their kids to excel in everything and be in everything.  A prime example is when our eldest played soccer last year.  He loves soccer, but is not really in contact sport.  We found a team, it needed players, so we joined him up.  Well, some of the conversations I heard from some of the parents at this club.  Example of a conversation.

“We have Swimming Monday; Soccer training Tuesday; Violin on Wednesday; I think Thursday is free, but not for long, as is he showing interest in a program at the local community centre (more like you are), and Fridays we go to friends houses, and Saturday it is practice and Sunday, we play Soccer.”   “And he also is at the top of his class at school”.  “We are so proud of him and how much he has achieved”.  This kid was 8 at the time.

When did this young boy have a chance, to be a kid.  I remember when I was growing up, the only girl with two older brothers.  We lived opposite train tracks, and our afternoons and weekends were spent playing with our mates up the road, causing all sorts of innocent trouble and then going home, completely and utterly exhausted.  Yes, we had the occasional sporting or musical obligation, but majority of the time it was pure playtime.  Do kids today, have that same free and easy outlook on life, or do the parents actually let them.  Fair enough, the world is a more dangerous place, but to have your kids life planned out right to the letter, is not healthy.

I am getting a little bit sick and tired of news reports, about kids suicide because they cannot meet parental expectations.  One of my ex-boyfriends almost suicided, because he failed Yr 12.  He had been bough up in a German household and was afraid of disappointing his parents, so seriously thought about loading his fathers’ shotgun.

Not once did I feel that I never met my parents expectations.  One thing about the two of them, is that they never forced us to do something we did not want to do.  Maybe, they could have been more encouraging in some aspects, but they wanted us to make our own path in life, and all three of us did.

I am all for children reaching their potential and participating in extra curricular activities, but when it interferes with being a “Kid”, that is when I questions the ethics of parents.  My message to parents, is to just let your kids be who they are.  If they want to “overachieve”,  make sure they still have that all important “time to themselves”, to reflect on why there is a difference between being a “Kid” and being an “Adult”.

To the family of that talented young lady, my condolences and to all parents of children that have felt suicide, is the only option, my heart goes out.

Till next time

Ciao.

National Literacy and Numeracy Assessment

Well, today marks a very important milestone in my 9 year olds life. 

His first exam.

Today marks the start of the  ”National Literacy and Numeracy Assessment”, throughout Australian schools.   Today hundreds of Grade 3, 5, 7 and 9’s will be sitting for the next 3 days tests on basically how good they are at the above.   My poor little bugger, will sit the following tests:  

http://www.naplan.edu.au/timetable/timetable.html.   

He has already had a practice session last week and according to him, who I might add is quite a bright little spark, “It was quite easy really, I finished it before time was up, but could not do the division part, only Kelvin did that, none of us could do that part.” Kelvin is one of my sons friends and is bloody intelligent.  Usually the maths and spelling tests, done every week have usually got the same 4 kids at the top.  My son, his best mate Josh, another boy and Kelvin.  The odd girl is in their some times.  Now I am not the type of mother, that sits there and goes on and on about how brainy my child is.  That is not me.  But what I do recognise is his achievements and Aiden has never struggled at school, whatsoever.  He loves education and is like a sponge.  Soaks everything up.  He has always been like that.  He, already knows what he is going to be  and has so, since he was 4.  That is either an Architect or an Engineer.  This boy is a Hot Wheels and Lego fanatic, ask any relative, what they have had to buy him every birthday since he could walk and they will all say the same thing.  He is even got a little gang at school, that consists of his two best friends and him, and they call each other, the “Trihotycles”.  Three boys, who love Hot Wheels, Lego and Bionicles – a brand of Lego.    He loves nothing better then building and designing new looking cars or houses out of Lego, off the top of his head I might add.   I am thinking he will be involved in car or house design of some sort.  American Chopper, those car rebuilding shows on Foxtel, Bathhurst, Nascar, Formula 1, he watches.  Heaven help us when he reaches 18, the legal driving age in Victoria.  He has already picked out his first car – a Suburu WRX.  Oh, and he also loves Tattoos, and has picked his first one out already and thinks it is so unfair he has to wait till he is 18.   Dad has four already.

But, some children do not have that luxury and struggle all through their school life.  My husband, is one of the most intelligent men, I have ever met.  He is not an academic, but is very technical and practical in his ways of thinking or doing.  This is a man, that can build benches, cabinets off the top of his head, and talk all day about the different types of toilets, copper, hot water systems etc.  He works for a plumbing subsidary of one of the biggest copper merchants in the Southern Hemisphere.  When he is not sitting in front of the tele watching his beloved Rugby, that is.   He left school at year 10 and has had to work his backside off to get anywhere in life.    Now this is someone that has hated school his whole life, by Year 10 he was out of there.  Yes, he realised what an idiot, he is, to have taken till the age of 35 to get a decent income and job (he is nearly 37), and that he had to work his way through the company starting as a driver, ten years ago to get where he is, an Assistant Branch Manager, whereas other people go straight into well paying jobs.  But, one thing he does know is that he was true to himself.  He knew that he hated learning and even know to get him to review his forklift book (as he needs to get his forklift licence for work), is asking alot.  This is a man, that will not read books, only the picture variety and if they have nudie pictures, all the more reason to look, or if they are written by “Vicki Petratis”an excellent true crime author and good friend of one of my brothers.   But, he is not stupid.  He watches documentaries about anything and everything, and does read the paper.  To him, he is still learning but in his way. 

I come from a bit of mixed bag academically.  I have one brother like my husband.  He left school at Year 9 and is now quite a successful “Gadget” man, as he is calls himself.  He hated school, and as soon as he was old enough, he was out of there.  Whereas on the other hand, my older, but younger of the two brothers, is a teacher and “Mr Academic”.     He has a teaching degree, as well as I think his “Masters”.  Feel free to correct me dear brother.  Me, on the other hand, has got the same level of intelligence as both my brothers.  But, due to a childhood injury, I acquired at the age of 3, I have struggled through school.   That is why my grammar, is not the greatest.  When I was 14 I was diagnosed with Epilepsy, so on top of the already “Acquired Brain Injury”, that I had, the Epilepsy was a double bonus.  I understand things well.  I am very bright, but just take a little bit longer to digest things, depending on whether my happy pills are doing their job, or I have had enough sleep.  I do come across some times as “Vague Vera”, but do not let it fool you, I am not stupid, just maybe having a bad day.    Both our parents are quite smart people when they put their mind to it, and before the Alzhiemers took control of dear old dad, he would amaze you with the stories and level of intelligence he had.  This is a man that, if he had stayed at school, I reckon would have gone on to be a great University Professor.  My mum who has been the homemaker for 44 years, has just astounded me with the way she is coping financially and mentally with my dad’s recent admission to a nursing home.  This is a woman that was not allowed to touch the financials;  just to keep the home nice and look after the kids.  She only learnt to write a cheque about 5-10 years ago.  She too, left school at Year 8.

 I remember one time at the end of Year 11, sitting in the office at my beloved Star of the Sea Ladies College.  By beloved I am being sarcastic (I hated the place, there were no boys to perve at, only the ones on the way home, and my year level were quite snobby and bitchy), there was a meeting organised with my parents and the year level co-ordinator.   You see I had failed a few subjects, and she was concerned that I may not have the potential to complete Year 12.   Well, if they had place more of an emphasis of helping kids like myself, instead of putting them in the dumb class, and ignoring them,  I might have passed these subjects.  I ended up repeating Year 11 for one term, left, worked for the rest of the year, went back following year and got my Year 12, at another school I might add.  I, then applied for Uni, got into a teaching degree, but dropped out, as it was not for me, and I am more financially minded then anything else.  I, then went on and completed an Associate Diploma in Business Administration, where I majored in Accounting and Medical and worked as a Practice Manager for a Paramedical Clinic, till I had the kids.   I am now studying a Bachelors Degree in Business (Financial Planning) at RMIT off campus.  For those not from Australia.  It is a way to get your degree from the comforts of your own home.  Still the same degree, but at your own pace. 

I actually ran into that ”Co-ordinator” about 15 years ago and in a nice way, let her know that I got Year 12 and I was studying to be a teacher.   I should have mentioned to her that I was aiming to be the complete opposite to her.  Open minded, helpful and not an academic snob.

But really, is this assessment going to help those kids that struggle.  When the statistics are out, we will know what part of Australia is smart and what is dumb, but how many of these kids will fall through the gaps.  Some kids are great at tests, some are not.  This assessment does not do justice for all those with learning difficulties.  The results will be in Aidens report, but will the schools improve and try to help these kids.  All these kids will see, is that “I fall in the dumb category”,  or “I fell in the smart category”,  and some schools will look at these statistics and ignore the kids with problems and focus on the “smart ones”.  I know that these Assessments are to help the Education board better plan their teaching content, but does it really show the potential a kid has, or does it just separate the masses, as always.

My whole point is that teachers need to place more emphasis on the struggling kids.  I love my brothers attitude to teaching.  He looks at each child as an individual and gives them choices.  Sometimes children can get lost in a classroom, and if you do not have that attitude they end up not fulfilling their potential.   I just hope that by having these tests, every teacher will start looking at children like my brother does.

Keep up the good work dear brother.

 

Ciao for now.